You are worthless.
You’ll never make it.
You call yourself a Christian?!
With these thoughts flying around my head, I was feeling particularly down that spring semester. I felt that God was barely tolerating me, and that he was never pleased with anything I did. I remember walking to class feeling the weight of condemnation on my shoulder. “Well…I guess the best I can do is just hold on till the end and see what happens” I thought. It was such a pitiful outlook on life, and I believed it. Walking in class I was happy to see familiar faces of my brothers and sisters, but I kept my mask on well. God forbid they find out how I feel. I sat down and flipped my Bible open to Ephesians. Life would never be the same after that, and as we read the first chapter all heaven broke loose over me:
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according TO THE RICHES OF HIS GRACE, which he LAVISHED upon us”(Eph. 1:7-8a)
I was desperate. I felt ashamed. I felt rejected and condemned.
And God came.
The Holy Spirit hit me hard. His grace, and mercy, and love began to wash me over. He began to break every single lie that had laid hold on my life. I sat there with tears running down my face. God the Father didn’t just squeeze out some stingy grace, on the contrary, He LAVISHED it upon me. All those years I had let these lies rob me of my joy, rob me of my intimacy with the Father, and rob me of an empowering Christian life. Never again!
God showed his desire for me through Jesus on the cross!
He LAVISHES His grace on me.
He pursues me with His love and mercy, and calls me to himself! He…wants me! (I could not believe it! God actually wants me!)
For the first time in many years I could actually say out loud, “Thank you Father for loving me.” Those putrid lies from the enemy are buried with the old self…and they will stay buried. His truth actually sets us free.
Thank you Jesus!
*”Don’t base your truth on experiences or failures. Base it on His truth, and keep running after it.”- Dan Mohler*
** Dan Mohler is one of my favorite preachers on the topic of identity. A straight talk type of guy who is not afraid to back down on what the Bible says about you, despite how you are feeling or what you have done. Check him out on youTube…or don’t. It’s your life 😉 **
***Thank you Dr. Jon Marshall for being a faithful professor in class!***